I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love
by SCB2011
Summary: //SakuShika// "Shikamaru?" "What's the difference between a best friend and a love?" Shikamaru sat with wide shock filled eyes. After a few minutes he spoke. "Honestly Sakura, I don't know." Sakura smiled. "So does that mean we're in love?" //Chap 10//
1. Advil and Clock work

**I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love

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"_You calm the storms, and you give me rest.  
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.  
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.  
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?"_

_-Lifehouse, "Everything"_

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High school, the place where you are constantly being judged by your peers and being put into categories, and you don't even know which you are in, until you are only left with that group.

The jocks, cheer leaders,

"geeks",

musicians,

punks,

skaters,

smokers…the list goes on and on.

Why does everyone want to be popular?

That is something I never understood.

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"Sasuke! Sasuke! I love you Sasuke!"

Ugh, that's what everyone would hear every morning they would walk in the doors to school. All the girls just follow him, yelling that they "loved" Sasuke, asking him to give them a chance, or look their way…which he never did. Sasuke was never known for "flirting", no he was more known as the "I'm an Uchiha; you better know what that means," act which he took up from his older brother.

'Heh, I wonder if Sasuke even knows how to move his face to form the friendly gesture of a "smile".'

After only being at this school for a few years, Shikamaru became used to the screaming and declarations of the girls. Of course becoming used to them doesn't mean he enjoyed them. No, absolutely not, but Shikamaru did have the handy support of the little white bottle of "Advil" in his locker waiting for him, right next to a bottle of water.

Shikamaru opened the doors to school; and there they were the huge crowd of girls all swooning around Sasuke. All of them again were declaring their "love" for him…

'Typical.'

Every school has the typical "cool" kids, and Sasuke Uchiha is one of them, in fact he's the most popular out of all the boys.

He plays sports, has good grades, and all the girls want him.

Isn't that what every teenage boy wants?

"Yo Shik-(crunch)amaru."

"Heh, hey Chouji."

Chouji, Shikamaru's best guy friend, and partner.

Chouji was just about everything a best friend could be for you,

funny,

nice,

caring…

just about the whole package.

'Except when you try to finish a bag of chips, especially barbecue, you are never allowed to when he's around.'

"So wha-(crunch)t are you do-,"

Shikamaru looked over his shoulder at Chouji to see what cut him off from finishing his question, besides the chips, then followed his eyes to Sasuke…no not Sasuke, the girl around Sasuke.

Ino.

Ino has long blond hair that reached her waist, put up in a high ponytail.

She was loud and annoying.

She never stopped talking.

Ino was one of those girls who would always say that they are "in love" with Sasuke., and unfortunately, Chouji had a huge infatuation with her.

"Shikamaru do you think that Ino would go out with me?"

'Ugh, it's not even eight in the morning and he's asking me about girls. What a drag.'

"Chouji, Ino is "in love" with Sasuke remember?"

"Yea, but do you think she would?"

Shikamaru sighed.

"I guess we'll never know until you ask her huh?"

Chouji turned to look at Shikamaru and nodded with a huge smile on his face.

Shikamaru knew that Chouji was then going to ask Ino out.

Shikamaru just turned and walked over to his locked to put some books away.

The locker on his right was Sasuke's, so as you can I guess he decides not to go there very much, only early in the morning or during class, not in the passing periods, to avoid the fan girls. And the locker on his left was Sakura's.

She's his other best friend.

'Sakura…best friend…yea,'

Sakura has shoulder length pink hair, with emerald eyes.

She had her loud moments, she can be annoying, but she cares about her friends deeply and would do anything for them.

She's very smart,

just like Shikamaru,

they loved to play strategy games with each other,

to prove their intellect.

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Sakura, Chouji and Shikamaru have been best friends since they were about four or five maybe. They talked to each other whenever any of them had problems. Asking each other for advice, and did best friend things.

God, there it is again, the fangirls screaming,

"I love you Sasuke! Marry me Sasuke!"

'How is Sasuke not deaf yet? I came to my locker to get my Advil, so it shut them OUT, and yet their voices wander their way over to me. What a drag.'

"Hey Shikamaru, what's wrong? Got a headache already?"

Looking to the left to see his pink haired best friend, Shikamaru inwardly smiles, and then notices that his right hand fingers were rubbing his forehead temples.

'Wonder how my hand was doing that, and I didn't even know.'

"It's not even eight. They are driving me crazy,"

Says the irritated brunette,

"All I need is to have the Advil and hopefully be for first period I'll be able to tolerate it."

Shikamaru reaches into his locker and grabs his little white bottle and notices it's rather light. He unscrews the lid and looks inside, only to find that…

'There's nothing inside…'

"This is ridiculous! Why doesn't someone just kick all those annoying girls out of this school?!" The pinkette laughed.

"Bit cranky this morning?"

Shikamaru looks over at her with a look of 'Are you trying to be funny?' written all over his face.

"Why don't you just report it? I mean you spend enough time complaining about them and think about how much money you would save not having to buy anti-headache medicines?"

"Because-",

Shikamaru was cut off by Sakura.

"It would be too troublesome?"

'Am I really that predictable? Or does she just know me so well she can finish my sentences?'

Shikamaru felt a tiny bit of heat rising up his body at the thought of Sakura knowing him so well.

"Here."

She handed him a bottle of Advil.

"I didn't know you used them too."

The pony-tailed man said in a questioning tone.

"Well, I don't."

Sakura closed her locker.

"Then why do you have them?"

"Gosh Shikamaru, I can't do anything without you questioning it huh? Ok, well I have them because I know you use them and that one day you would forget to refill the bottle. Even though you are a "genius", you had to make a tiny slip up every once in a while. So I bought them in case you needed them."

Sakura looked at Shikamaru and smiled. Shikamaru swore if everyone wasn't so tired and their eye lids lagging, they could've seen Shikamaru's cheeks turn a little pink, for he sure could fill it.

"Well, I've got to get to class. Bye Shikamaru."

Sakura stepped forward and hugged the brunette, let go, turned and walked away. Before Shikamaru could respond to the hug, she was already out of the embrace and heading to class.

'Thank you…Sakura.'

Shikamaru opened the little bottle and took his Advil with the water from the water bottle inside his locker. And after placing the bottles inside the locker, Shikamaru closed his locker and walked to his first class…which contained Sasuke.

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'Please let some huge hole appear in the ground and Sasuke and his fangirls fall inside of it and fall to the deepest depth in the world.'

"I love you Sasuke!"

'For the love of- We get it! We understand you "love" Sasuke! Shut up! I'm not even Sasuke and I understand!'

After taking his seat, the bell would be ringing in two minutes.

'Sasuke will enter in about twenty seconds and seat two seats away from me next to the wall which leaves only one opening seat next to him. This will cause an uproar within the fangirls and they will start yelling profanities at each other about how it was "their turn to sit next to him," or "he loves me so I should sit next to him". Something along those lines. Then our teacher will come in five seconds before the fan girl uproar. He will place his belongings on his desk and put up the corrections for last nights homework. So after that all I need to do is check my homework, answer an immediate question from someone in the class asking me how I got the answer. I'll shrug towards the teacher, and then hopefully they'll get my point, I'll take my nap until the next class.'

50 seconds left.

Shikamaru takes out his homework.

45 seconds left.

Shikamaru takes out a pen for corrections, even though there won't be any.

40 seconds left.

Naruto enters the classroom and drags himself over the seat behind Shikamaru.

35 seconds left.

Shikamaru can hear Naruto sighing in frustration about how all his supplies fell out of his backpack onto the floor.

30 seconds left.

Sasuke enters the classroom.

25 seconds left.

Shikamaru looks over at Sasuke, waiting for the show to begin.

He takes his seat two tables over from Shikamaru is sitting, which is next to the wall.

20 seconds left.

Then while Sasuke was taking out his belongings the teacher entered the room and put his belongings on his desk.

He put the homework corrections up on the board.

15 seconds left.

"It's my turn! It's my turn to sit next to him!"

"No! Sasuke loves me more so I will sit next to him!"

The yelling from the hallway signaled the oncoming yelling, screaming and profanities to come.

10 seconds left.

Shikamaru was looking over his work and he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked over to the intruder signaling he heard him.

"What Naruto?"

"Hey Shikamaru, hehe up how did you do number four?" Naruto asked Shikamaru rubbing the back of his head and that normal grin on his face.

Shikamaru just shrugged towards the teacher and Naruto then left him alone.

'Just like clockwork.'

5 seconds left.

So Shikamaru just exhaled and put his head down and decided to catch some sleep.

0 seconds left. And class had begun.

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* * *

**Rewritten (?)**

**Re-Edited(3/4/09)**

**~Renaissance  
**


	2. Continuous Dream

**I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love**

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_"This time, I wonder what it feels like  
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of  
But dreams just aren't enough  
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling  
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene  
Straight off the silver screen  
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end  
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with"_

_-Nickelback "Gotta Be Somebody"_

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_Shikamaru was woken by the ringing of the school bell which indicated that class has ended. Sluggishly standing up out of his seat, Shikamaru went to grab his homework and put it into his backpack when he saw a gentle hand place itself on top of his. He looked up to see his pink haired best friend. _

'_Sakura?'_

_ A smile graced her face making her look perfect. _

"_Hiya Shikamaru." _

_Sakura removed her hand from his and put it under her books she was carrying._

"_Sakura…what are you doing here? This isn't your class." _

_She giggled._

"_I know that silly. I'm just waiting for you."_

'_She's waiting for me? But her class is on the other end of the school.' _

_Shikamaru shrugged and put his homework in his backpack._

"_Alright." _

_He pulled his backpack over one shoulder and they left the classroom._

"_So Sakura, why are you waiting for me? I mean, you've never waited for me after first period, your class is on the other end of school." _

_He couldn't help that he was curious._

_ And again, she giggled._

_ Shikamaru started to love the sound._

"_Is it so wrong for me to walk with my best friend to the next class?" _

_He looked over at her, finding she was looking at him. _

_He smiled._

"_No, I suppose not." _

_They both looked forward and continued to walk to their destination._

"_Does it bother you that I waited for you Shikamaru?" _

_He looked over at the petite girl next to him and smiled._

"_No Sakura." _

'_Not at all.'_

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**RING**

Shikamaru woke to the sound of the bell, signaling the end of class.

'Was it all…just a dream?'

Shikamaru stood up and went to grab his homework, when his hand lingered on the edge of the paper for a moment.

'It seemed so real.'

Then after the moment was over he continued with his earlier action of returning his paper to his backpack, then he flung one side of his backpack over his shoulder, and left the classroom.

While walking down the hallway Shikamaru couldn't help but think back to his dream.

How in the dream Sakura's hand was on top of his, and when he woke up, he found himself wishing it really was there. How her small and gentle hand laid carefully on his, making his hand warm. He missed the warmth it provided.

Shikamaru then arrived at his next class.

He wasn't looking forward to this class in particular, but the one after this.

His next class had Sakura in it. Shikamaru went and sat in his regular sit, third row from the front second seat from the left. While taking his regular seat, he didn't even bother taking any of his stuff out; he was too troubled with the things on his mind.

Thinking about how much he wished that his dream was real, and how much he desired that small innocent touch Sakura left on his hand.

"Sasuke! Sasuke you look amazing today!"

'Oh god…no.'

"Sasuke can I sit next to you today?!"

"No I get to sit next to Sasuke!"

Sasuke walked into the classroom with five other girls walking behind him, surely his fangirls.

Sasuke paused at the entrance of the door and looked around the classroom for a place to sit, even though many seats were empty.

Then he looked over at Shikamaru, or more like he was looking to the seat on Shikamaru's left, which was empty and it's only neighbor was Shikamaru's seat.

'No. No. No. Don't even think about it Sasuke. No.'

And there he went, walking over to the seat of Shikamaru's left and taking it.

'This is going to be a horrible day. First with no medicine in the morning, then the screaming, my dream which I wished was real, and now the stupid troublesome girls again which made Sasuke sit next to me. What a drag.'

Thankfully to Shikamaru, Sasuke wasn't very much of a talker.

As time went on more and more seats became occupied with other students.

Sasuke's little fangirls all sat as close as they could to Sasuke, which bothered Shikamaru to no end hearing their little whispers. So he did the only thing he could think of, go to sleep. Shikamaru put his head down on his desk and attempted to go to sleep.

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_They continued to walk down to hallway in silence. _

'_Why all of a sudden did she want to walk with me?'_

"_Sakura, why today did you decide to walk with me? Don't get me wrong, it doesn't bother me that you're here, I'm just confused." _

_Sakura stopped walking and pulled Shikamaru around to look at her. _

_They were just standing there in the hallway looking into each others eyes. _

"_Maybe I wanted a change Shikamaru. Maybe I want some things to change around here, between you and me."_

'_She wants a change between the two of us?'_

"_Change? Why do you want a change Sakura?" _

_Her beautiful appeared on her face. _

_Shikamaru found himself loving her smile._

"_I'm not happy with the way things are between us Shikamaru."_

"_You're not happy?" _

_Sakura slowly moved all her books to her left arm and took her right hand and carefully touched Shikamaru's left hand. _

_With this action he looked down at her hand, and found it touching his so carefully._

_ Looking back up at Sakura and her emerald eyes, he knew._

_ He knew he wanted things to change too._

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_...  
_

"Oi, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru was pulled from his dream to someone nudging him and whispering.

He looked over to see Sasuke.

"What?" Shikamaru's voice had a bit of an edge to it seeing as he was just pulled from a very good dream.

"Class ends in two minutes."

'Why the hell is Sasuke Uchiha telling me this? He only cares about himself.'

"Fine."

Shikamaru was about to grab his stuff on his desk to put it away to realize he never took any of it out.

'This dream I keep having…it's becoming a distraction to school...,'

Shikamaru found himself thinking about the dream again.

'But I don't want it to go away.'

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**RING**

Faster then anyone has ever seen, Shikamaru grabbed his backpack and was out the door.

Walking down the hallway as fast as he could, he thought about his dream again.

'She wants things to change between us? How? There are many answers to that question.

1) She doesn't want to be friends anymore.

2) She thinks we're drifting apart.

3) She feels there's something wrong.

Or four…

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…

No, it couldn't be that one…but wait. She did say she wanted things to change between us and when I questioned her about it, and touched my hand in that soft gentle way that makes me desire it more and more. Maybe she wants to more then friends.'

Just as that thought entered his head Shikamaru was at his next class and saw Sakura already sitting in her seat.

Her shoulder length pink hair hugged her face,

her green t-shirt made her eyes more emerald,

blue jeans which showed off the shape of her legs,

and her smile.

Right then and there Shikamaru realized…

Sakura was **gorgeous.**

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* * *

**Rewritten(?)**

**Re-edited(3/4/09)**

**~Renaissance  
**


	3. Scent

**I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love

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**

"_What about now?  
What about today?  
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?  
What if our love never went away?  
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?  
Baby, before it's too late,  
What about now?" –Daughtry "What About Now"_

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_

'Gorgeous.'

Her pink hair,

emerald eyes,

pale porcelain skin,

sweet laugh,

amazing smile that melts your heart,

Shikamaru wondered how he never saw it before.

"Hey Shikamaru."

Sakura's gentle and smile hand waved in the air towards Shikamaru welcoming him and at the same time, waving him over.

"Hi Sakura."

Shikamaru took his seat next to Sakura.

Placing his backpack on the floor he turned towards Sakura.

"How was class?"

She groaned.

"It was rather irritating. The kid that sits behind me kept trying to whisper something into my ear. I mean after a while, don't you think he would get the hint?"

Sakura's face became a little red do to her irritation. Her slender pink eyebrows furrowed together and her soft lips looked like if they pulled apart her face would be destroyed.

Shikamaru couldn't help but notice her cute expression.

"That sucks."

"How was your last class?"

"I feel asleep."

Sakura's hard loosened up and she started to form a tiny smile.

"Did you have a dream?"

Shikamaru hadn't been expecting that.

What should he say?

'Yes Sakura I had a dream about you and me and I think it was going to end up you and me being together in a non-friendship way but in a romantic way. And now I'm starting to become confused by this dream and I think you're gorgeous?'

No, Shikamaru couldn't say that, but he couldn't lie to her.

'If I tell her I had a dream her smile will get bigger and she'll ask me what it was about.'

"Yes."

Sakura's smile widened just like Shikamaru thought it would.

"What was it about?"

'Again, just like clockwork.'

"Am I not allowed to have a dream and keep it to myself?"

"So you had a dream and you want to keep it to yourself? Must've been a pretty scary nightmare, or a pretty perfect dream."

Soon after that Sakura's and Shikamaru's teacher walked into the classroom and started class.

Shikamaru decided to try and get back to his dream.

It was rather hard at first with Sakura poking him in the upper arm every few minutes telling him to 'stay awake or he'll get in trouble'.

In the end, Shikamaru was able to fall asleep,

with one lingering thought on his mind before slipping into his addicting new world.

'You have no idea.'

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_Her hand lingered there, just barely touching his hand. _

_It was amazing how such a soft and tiny action was driving Shikamaru off the wall. _

"_Sakura what do you mean?" _

_He looked at her, waiting for an answer. _

_Sakura's smile turned from a sweet one to a more 'are you serious' look._

"_Do you not understand Shikamaru?" _

_He shook his head._

"_No. I mean there are many reasons for you not wanting to be friends, but I can't eliminate any of them because I'm…I'm not you. I don't know what you're thinking."_

_Sakura giggled. _

_The soft gentle hand that was lingering by his moved to his cheek._

"_Shikamaru, I thought you were a genius?" _

_Shikamaru couldn't exactly form a solid expression. _

_His face was somewhere between 'oh my god' and 'please'._

"_Well Sakura, every genius needs a little help every once in a while." _

_Sakura nodded her head._

"_Yes, I suppose they do, every once in a while." _

_Sakura took a step closer to Shikamaru and her hand moved from his cheek to his hair, un-doing the ponytail Shikamaru held. _

_His chocolate covered hair fell down, showing off his straight yet pointy hair, the back of his hand went to his neck and the front fell around his face in every which direction. Sakura took another step closer, they were barely an inch or two apart._

"_I love your hair." _

_Shikamaru's eyes were closed. _

_Sakura was so close to him right now that he could smell her hair. _

_Her hair smelled of flowers, a scent so distinct, it smelled like sweet oranges and creamy raspberries._

_Her perfume added a vanilla scent to the flowery smell. _

_She didn't wear too much, just enough to bring out hr natural smell. _

_Shikamaru couldn't decide the proper scent to Sakura. _

_He wasn't even sure if it was a flowery smell._

_Not flowers._

_Not candy._

_Not sweet._

_Not sour._

_Not too strong._

_Not to weak._

_He couldn't decide what it was. _

_So Shikamaru decided that this beautiful orangey, raspberry, vanilla scent was going to be named: Sakura. _

_It was her scent. _

_Her smell. _

_It was her._

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Shikamaru woke up to Sakura's nudging and found that class has ended.

'That dream was so powerful. It felt like I could smell that scent in reality.'

Shikamaru picked up his backpack and headed for the door.

"Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru turned around to Sakura's voice and waited for her.

'Why am I dreaming about this? This isn't right; I shouldn't be having dreams of her like that. I shouldn't even be dreaming of her.'

"What's the rush Shikamaru?"

Sakura ran up to where Shikamaru was leaning against the door frame.

"Just because youtake forever to put all of your stuff away doesn't mean I'm in a rush." Sakura giggled.

"Well Shikamaru, maybe if you took some of your stuff out for school you might _actually _see I don't take forever."

Shikamaru smirked.

"Well Sakura, maybe if you _don't_ take your stuff out and sleep like I do, then you'll find I'm not in a rush."

They both knew this could go on forever, so they called it a draw, silently of course.

Walking down the hallway, Shikamaru noticed that Sakura wasn't talking very much. Shikamaru's turn was coming up and Sakura needed to head in the opposite direction. Shikamaru stopped walking and Sakura turned around.

"Well, this is my exit Sakura."

Smiling, Sakura walked up to Shikamaru and hugged him.

She stood on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck.

Shikamaru's arms snaked around her waist, like they had a mind of their own.

Sakura turned her head into Shikamaru's ear.

"This is my stop too Shikamaru."

Shikamaru could fell her smile in his neck. Feeling Sakura start to pull away, he smelled it.

The oranges.

The raspberries.

The vanilla.

Oh god, this was bad. This scent was going to drive him insane.

Shikamaru could still fell Sakura's arms slowly unwrapping themselves from his neck and pretty soon, Sakura stood on the soles of her feet and her arms at her side.

"Bye Shikamaru."

Sakura started to turn away when Shikamaru's arms reached out and wrapped themselves around her waist again, keeping her in his grasp.

Her head was against his chest, her eyes wide opened.

"Shikamaru…what's wrong?"

Shikamaru's arms tightened.

"Nothing. Just stay here for a second."

And she did. Her arms went around him, under his arms and around his back, her head stayed on his chest.

After a few seconds, they pulled away.

"See you Shikamaru."

Sakura turned and walked in her direction.

She never did notice how Shikamaru's nose was in her hair, and went down to her neck. She never noticed how there was a smile on his face.

She never noticed how Shikamaru kept tightening his grip on her.

Sakura never noticed how Shikamaru's eyes followed her while she was walking away. She never noticed how his smile disappeared from his face when she left.

Sakura never noticed.

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* * *

**Rewritten(?)**

**Re-edited(3/4/09)**

**~Renaissance  
**


	4. Addicting

**I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love

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**

"_I'm holding on for you,  
I'm fighting for your life.  
And when your blinded by this jaded world,  
I'll be your eyes.  
Even if you fall,  
I won't let you break.  
When all the noise is telling you  
To run away,  
Run to me. "-Nick Lachey "Run To Me"_

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_

'This can't be happening. No, I've known Sakura basically my whole life, I can't just start liking her. No...no...no.'

After is next few periods it was lunch.

Finally something where Shikamaru could just sleep and not be bothered with stupid questions from everyone.

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_Shikamaru couldn't help but notice how close they were. _

_She was so close, so close he could smell her delicious scent. _

_Her soft, warm scent. _

_She was playing with him. _

_He could tell. _

_Sakura always loved to tease him with something she knew he couldn't resist. _

_And his temptation right now? _

_It was her. _

_He needed to win, because if he lost...he would never live it down._

"_That isn't fair Sakura." _

_Shikamaru's eyes were still closed and Sakura's hand on his cheek. _

_She whispered._

"_What's not fair Shika?" _

"_You're playing with me. You shouldn't tease me like this." _

_She giggled._

"_How am I teasing you Shika? I'm only touching your cheek." _

_She knew she was winning._

"_You know." _

_Shikamaru opened his eyes to see Sakura only a few inches away from his face. _

_She had a smile on and giggled again. _

_Sakura then leaned forward and was only an inch away from his lips, _

_Shikamaru's eyes widened in shock. _

_Was she going to kiss him? _

_At the last moment her lips went to his ear oh so slowly._

"_I'll win this game Shika. And this time you'll be happy to lose. Do you know why?"_

_He shook his head no._

"_Would you like to know?"_

_He nodded._

_"Shikamaru, if I win you'll never have to keep dreaming about me. It'll be real." _

_Shikamaru eyes, if possible, got even bigger when he felt Sakura's lips on his cheek. _

_She was planting small delicate kisses on his cheek, and god, she was coming closer to his lips._

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_...  
_

"Hey Shikamaru."

Shikamaru woke from his dream to see Chouji and his tray full of school food, which was very questionable for Shikamaru seeing as the meat there wasn't brown red or pink, it was kinda purple.

"Chouji."  
"What's going on Shikamaru? I mean-(crunch)- I know you're a lazy guy and love to sleep and all but I didn't know you liked to sleep that much."

"What are you talking about Chouji? You know I've always liked the sleep."

Shikamaru clocked his head towards Chouji.

"Well, it's just that today I've noticed that you seem to want to sleep as much as possible. You're not doing any work in class or even listening to the teachers and what they're saying is on the finals next week. I know. I know. You're a genius and all but I mean really Shikamaru, what could you be dreaming about that is so inviting to you?"

'Oh god. Am I really acting that different?"

"Even Sakura noticed."

At the mention of his pink haired best friend, Shikamaru's ears decided it was time to pay attention.

"What did she say?"

"Well, all she said to me it that you seem really tired today since-(crunch)- you keeping trying to go to sleep. And normally you just fall asleep. But today you're actually trying really hard to fall asleep."

Shikamaru needed to figure things out if he didn't want anymore people noticing, but how can he finish this dream faster?

"Well see ya Shikamaru."

"Later Chouji."

Said man, stood up from his chair, walked to the trash can threw his food away, and left. Then that's when it happened.

She came over and sat next to him.

"Hey Shikamaru."

'Oh no.'

"Hey Sakura."

He tried not to look at her face, anywhere except those big beautiful, hypnotizing glittery emerald eyes that could put him at her mercy.

"So what's going on today? You seem to be very tired."

"Uh, I am."

"Oh, well anyways, you never told me what your dream was about."

'Oh crap.'

"I never said I was going to Sakura."

'Don't look at her face!'

"Oh come on Shikamaru jus- hey look at me Shikamaru!"

Sakura's hand grabbed Shikamaru's face so he was looking at him.

'Oh god no...no...nononononononnononnonononon please no! NO!'

"You should look at the person you're talking with Shikamaru."

'Look away from her! Look away from Sakura Shikamaru!'

"I just want my dream to end already."

She let go of his face.

"Is it really that bad?"

"No, it's just too addicting. I want it. I want to sleep forever and live in the dream. I'm addicted to it."

Sakura's eyes were sad.

"Do you not like it her Shikamaru? Is it really that bad for you?"

"No no, oh god no Sakura! It's just that...in the dream...there is something I want and I can't have in reality."

"What is it Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru couldn't tell her.

Could he?

**RING**

Sakura looked up at the clock.

"Well, we'll continue this conversation later. I still want to know what you want so badly. Bye Shikamaru!" Sakura waved goodbye to Shikamaru. But he never waved back. He never stood up, all he did was look at the table he was sitting at. But thank god no one, especially Sakura, heard what he said next.

...

...

...

...

"I want you."

...

...

...

...

* * *

**Rewritten(?)**

**Re-Edited(3/4/09)**

**~Renaissance  
**


	5. Not losing

**I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love

* * *

  
**

"_Let's rearrange  
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage  
Just say that we agree and then never change  
Soften a bit until we all just get along  
But that's disregard  
Find another friend and you discard  
As you lose the argument in a cable car  
Hanging above as the canyon comes between_

_Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind." -The Fray "Over My Head (Cable Car)"_

_..._

_..._

_..._

_...  
_

_Closer and closer she was getting, and it was..._

_It was making him crazy. She was right here touching him and pressing her gentle soft lips on his neck, working their way up._

_'God...oh god.'_

_Her sweet little kisses, touching his skin. _

_Each kiss was just setting him on fire._

_'God, oh god...'_

_**(Could he resist? Could he hold back?)**_

_She kisses his chin._

_**(Could he let himself move?)**_

_**(Could he just let himself turn his face a little and meet her sweet lips?)**_

_She kisses his cheek...she was only two inches away from his lips._

_'Oh god.'_

_**(Could he give in?)**_

_She's only an inch away from his lips now..._

_**(Could he...)**_

_She kisses him again, so close to his lips..._

_'Finally...'_

_**(Finally...)**_

_**(Give in?)**_

_'God!'_

_It happened so fast, oh so fast. In one swift move he turned his face..._

_**(And he finally)**_

_She lets out a small gasp in surprise._

_**(Gives into his temptation.)**_

_He wraps his arms around her, pulls her impossibly close to him...and presses his lips to hers..._

_'God...I've lost.'_

_And somewhere inside himself, Shikamaru smiles...he knows this was a game where he was willing to give in and admit defeat._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_...

* * *

_~

N

O

T

LOSING

~

* * *

...

...

...

...

It's been like this for him all morning and now, in his last class of the day, Shikamaru still can't stop giving in to his...addiction.

'This is bad...'

And he knows its only going to get worse. One day of realization about the pink haired beauty, and he can't even concentrate on school or anything for that matter.

Could he keep going on like this? He wasn't straying too far from his daily behavior, he was sleeping a lot after all. And that's how Shikamaru's always been.

But have people begun to notice his attitude...it's not so much tired anymore...it's more like not wanting to be here...but wanting to be somewhere else.

Hopefully, if someone notices, they'll just think he wants to be sleeping...which isn't exactly so far away from the actual truth.

Hey...it wasn't.

…

…

…

…

Sitting in his car staring at the wheel but the ignition is not on, just staring.

'What is happening to me?'

**TAP**

**TAP**

**TAP**

Shikamaru turns his head to his left to look at the cause of the noise.

and

god

it

was

her.

'Oh god.'

He rolls down his window.

"Hey Shikamaru. Whatcha up to?" Sakura smiles. Her beautiful smile.

"Uh hey Sakura. Um nothing really. Just sitting." Sakura laughs.

"That's relevant silly. What are you doing today?"

He had to think...surely there was something he was doing today...god think!

"I- I um well-" Shikamaru stammered.

"Well then, I guess that means you're hanging out with me today."

"What about your school work?" He was reaching for straws.

"Done."

"Your parents?"

"Out of town."

"Studying?" There had to be something.

"No...Shikamaru what's going on? Do you not want to hang out with me or something?" She was figuring out his game.

"No its not that Sakura. I just...I just don't want to tear you away from any other plans you had or might've." Shikamaru lowered his head down and looked at his feet, as if finding some secret escape into his world just laying there.

"Shikamaru...if I had something else to do, why would I be asking you to hang out with me?"

Somewhere deep down, Shikamaru knew she was right. She always is. After all...

she

is

Sakura. And to him...

she's

always

right. And She can't do anything wrong. He releases a breath...

"Ok."

...

...

...

...

"So what do you want to do?"

Shikamaru looks around Sakura's living room.

'Nothings changed.'

Shikamaru shrugs.

"Well...do you want to watch t.v.?"

No reply.

"Play a board game?"

No reply.

"Talk?"

Shikamaru's ears perked up a bit.

"So talking it is."

Shikamaru and Sakura both sit down on Sakura's red and pink floral couch.

…

…

Silence.

…

…

Well, it was quite obvious that Shikamaru wasn't going to start this conversation so it was up to Sakura.

"So Shikamaru I do have one question that I want to ask you."

Shikamaru's eyes still haven't stopped their exploration of Sakura's living room.

"Shikamaru?"

Still wandering.

"Shikamaru?"

Still exploring.

"Shikamaru!"

Sakura leans forward and grabs Shikamaru's chin and pulls his face in her direction.

"Shikamaru what has gotten into you today?!"

Shikamaru can't...

He can't look into her eyes.

He can't look at her.

"Shikamaru look at me!"

His eyes were fixed on a painting hanging from a wall in the background.

"Shikamaru...please."

Sakura whispered so low, he almost didn't hear it.

Almost.

Shikamaru looked at Sakura.

Luscious, soft, rose, pink hair.

Pale, delicate, skin.

Her wonderful scent.

He knew...

**(At that moment,)**

He realized two things the moment he looked at her.

**(He can't deny it anymore,)**

One... how close his face was to Sakura's.

**(He can't pretend its nothing,)**

Oh so close.

**(It's real. Everything is real.)**

And two,

**(His feelings for her. They aren't fake. They won't go away because,)**

He was,

**(You can't get rid of something,)**

and is,

**(That has always been there.)**

in love with her. And god, its taken him this long to figure it out...

Heh, and he was supposed to be a genius.

"Shikamaru? What is this?"

"What is what Sakura?"

"What am I...to...,"

"What are you to what Sakura?"

"Am I not good enough for you?"

**(And she doesn't know at all,)**

'That's it isn't it? I'm not good enough."

**(She has no idea. How incredibly wrong she is.)**

…

…

…

"Sakura?"

She looks at him with tears on the brink of her eye lids.

"Yes?"

He takes his hands and gently grabs her hands, which are holding his chin, lowers them and holds them tight.

"You have no idea."

"Of what?"

…

…

…

…

Shikamaru leans forward, slowly and carefully to her face.

**(He could just,)**

There are no distractions.

**(Finally,)**

No one else.

**(Give in.)**

But he doesn't stop at her lips, he leans forward a little more to her ear.

**(But he won't.)**

"How wrong you are." And he smiles.

**( Not yet. He can't lose her.)**

She smiles.

**(He can't lose her. He can't lose her. He can't lose her.)**

They both smile.

**(He won't lose her. He refuses to lose her.)**

Shikamaru leans his head on Sakura's shoulder. Sakura leans her head on his. And they stay this way for god knows how long.

**(Not now.)**

And while they sit this way for so long.

**(Not with how he feels for her.)**

Neither of them,

**(For if he lost her,)**

Ever think to move,

**(He would fall apart,)**

Or tear their hands apart.

**(He would die without her.)**

...

...

...

...

* * *

**Rewritten(3/1/09)**

**Re-Edited(3/4/09)**

**~Renaissance  
**


	6. Spring Is A Drag

**I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love**

* * *

_"Your touch, your ways  
Leave me dumb without reason  
Your love, my cage  
My prison so pleasing  
I spend my days  
Tangled in thoughts of you  
Stuck in this place  
Resigned to be your fool_

_I thirst no longer  
Drenching my soul  
Pour out like water_

_You're my only infatuation  
Don't leave me stranded  
In my obsession  
My purpose, my possession  
Live and die in my obsession  
My obsession" -Skillet "My Obsession"  
_

...

...

...

...

It's been a week now.

And to Shikamaru...

that

was

a

**VERY**

long

time.

Nothing has really changed at school or life in general. Shikamaru still goes to his classes, times first period, sleeps and goes to the next period sleeps some more and repeats.

But today is different. You know why?

…

…

…

…

It's the beginning.

…

...

…

…

They announced it.

...

…

…

…

**The Spring Formal Dance.**

'God, high school is such a drag.'

* * *

SPRING

IS A

D

R

A

G

* * *

'Stupid, troublesome spring formals.'

"Hey Shikamaru." Sakura smiles as she takes a seat next to him in class.

"Hey."

"What's up? Cranky already?" She giggles. Shikamaru points to the girl walking into the classroom. She stands at the front of class.

She shouts.

"Hey!" The whole class goes silent and turns towards her. She smiles.

"Good. Now that I have all of your eyes on me. I bet you all have heard about the spring formal, and if you haven't...well," she giggles "that's just sad. Anyways, the spring formal is in two weeks on the fourteenth. The theme is formal."

"Seeing as it's called 'Spring Formal'." Sakura whispers under her breath. Shikamaru chuckles lightly.

"And the tickets are fifteen dollars a piece. It starts at eight pm and ends at eleven." She flips her hair over her shoulder. "Hopefully all of you can make it." She smiles and walks off.

"Is it me or did that last part seem a little...fake?" Shikamaru shrugs.

"It's Ino Sakura. I don't really think she cares if everyone it going as along as she's going with Sasuke or he goes alone." Sakura nods her head.

"True."

The class starts talking amongst themselves again. Girls talking about who they want to ask them to the formal. Boys not even really caring about the stupid event.

"So who are you going to take to the formal Shikamaru?" Shikamaru turns his head towards Sakura and looks at her like 'Do you really think I'm going to that idiotic event?' She giggles.

"Gosh Shikamaru. You should ask someone, really, you should. You need to meet more girls. I mean I'm the only girl you really ever have any contact with."

"So you're saying I should hang out with other girls more?" Sakura nods her head.

"Yea. I mean Shikamaru really. There are so many girls here who have a thing for you, and you don't even see them. The only girl you see is-"

"You?" Sakura doesn't say anything. Then she smiles.

"Yea." Shikamaru's eyebrow lifts up.

"Is that a problem that the only girl I see it you?"

"No silly. I'm just saying that, there has to be at least one girl here who sparks enough interest in you to ask to the formal."

"Trust me Sakura, I definitely wouldn't take them to that stupid formal."

"Why not?" Shikamaru slouches a little more down in his seat.

"Why would I take the girl I'm interested in to a sweaty gym, with hormonal teenagers who, after all the close dancing and swaying of their bodies close together, only have one thing on their minds?"

Sakura doesn't say anything.

"I have respect for the girl I'm interested in. I wouldn't take her to a low life dance."

Shikamaru closes his eyes to fall asleep. Where as Sakura is seating in her seat with a wide smile on her face. Shikamaru didn't realize it.

...

...

...

...

Not once, did he ever say if. **IF **he liked someone.

Sakura turns her head to look out the window. Soon, she falls asleep.

_Sakura looks around to find herself in a meadow. It's beautiful here. So many wonderful, peaceful colors. A spring over on the right. It shimmers, reflecting the light off the water droplets. Tall apple trees everywhere, but not one apple on the ground. The grass is a couple inches tall, tall enough to where it feels wonderful to wiggle your toes in it. It's perfect here._

_"Hey Sakura." Sakura turns around. But she doesn't see anything. _

_"Hello?"_

_"Sakura." She turns around in a different direction. Still nothing._

_"Who is it?" _

_"Sakura!"_

_"Please! Who are you?!" Then there's nothing. There's no one calling her name. No one. Sakura starts looking in every which way. Frantically. _

_She can't find the voice. _

_She's scared. _

_And she doesn't even know who it was._

_"What is going on?" There's a breeze. Her hair flutters around her face. _

_"Hey Sakura." Her eyes widen. The voice is back, and it's right behind her. She starts to turn around._

_"Don't." She stops._

_"Don't turn around." _

_"Why?"_

_"I'm not ready." _

_"Ready for what?" The voice chuckles._

_"For you to see me."_

_"Well, can you at least tell me who you are?"_

_"You have to figure it out." Sakura turns around and there's nothing there. _

_She looks up to the sky. She shouts._

_"Who are you?!"_

_Then she feels something on her waist. She looks down and..._

_it's arms wrapping around her._

_And then a chin is placed on her shoulder. _

_"You have to figure it out Sakura." _

_She knows the voice won't tell her. So she'll have to do this in a different way._

_"Wanna play a game? How about twenty-one questions?" The voice chuckles again._

_"You always did love playing guess with me. Okay. Let's play." She smiles.  
_

_"Question one: You are a guy right?" _

_"Of course. Next?" _

_"It's your turn. The rules are I ask a question, then you ask one. Since I've already asked one, it's your turn now." She can feel the owner of the voice smile into her neck._

_"Oh, but Sakura. You'll answer my questions another time. For now you ask away. But choose carefully, you only have twenty left." _

_'He's right. I do only have twenty left. I probably can't ask his name because I have to figure out who he is first. Ugh!"_

_"Question two: Do we know each other?" _

_"Yes."_

_"How well?"_

_"Are you using that as one of your questions?" _

_"I um. I guess."_

_"Heh. Well, we know each other very well."_

_"Okay. Question four: Why can't I see you?"_

_"I want you to figure it out."_

_"Who you are?"_

_"Who I am, and how I feel."_

_"About what?"_

_"About you."_

_Sakura stops. She doesn't breathe. She doesn't speak. She just stands there, in the arms of a man she doesn't even know. He moves his head to her ear._

_"Don't forget to breathe Sakura." _

_She breathes again._

_"Okay. Um, Question five: H-"_

_"No. It's question seven." _

_'Oh crap.'_

_"Question seven: How do you feel about me?" He lowers his head back to her neck and breathes her in. _

_"You're smart Sakura. Figure it out."_

_"How do you know you feel for me?" He chuckles._

_"Well, I am a genius."_

_'Genius?...Genius...' Sakura's eyes widen. _

_'**No**.'_

...

...

...

...

_

* * *

_

**Rewritten(3/20/09)**

**Re-Edited(3/20/09)**

**~Renaissance**


	7. Losing If It Meant Having You Forever

**I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love**

* * *

_"This time, This place  
Misused, Mistakes  
Too long, Too late  
Who was I to make you wait  
Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left  
'Cause you know,  
you know, you know_

That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore"-Nickelback "Far Away"

_..._

_..._

_..._

Sometimes wondering what person you're going to become,

Stops you from being the person you are.

* * *

**L**

**O**

**S**

**E**

**FOREVER**

**I**

**F**

**IT**

**M**

**E**

**A**

**N**

**T**

**HAVING**

**Y**

**O**

**U**

**FOREVER**

* * *

...

...

...

...

'_No, no, no. Ha, no way.' He inhales her neck again._

"_Can I take a guess at who you are?" He smiles._

"_Are you sure you want to guess so early into the game?"_

'_I guess he's right. Plus I mean there's many other kids at my school who are considered to be geniuses…there's Sasuke, Shikamaru, me, Neji, there's lots of possibilites.'_

"_You're right. I should wait."_

_There's only silence in this meadow. There's just him and her. Nothing to disturb them. Nothing to break them apart._

"_What are you interested in?" He chuckles. Sakura begins to love his chuckles and laughs and smiles and the breaths that he takes. _

"_Are you really that oblivious?" Sakura's cheeks start to redden. He smiles._

"_You're cute when you blush." She blushes even harder._

_More silence._

_He inhales._

_More silence._

_He exhales._

_More silence._

_He inhales._

_More Silence._

_He exhales._

"_Why can't I see you? Why won't you tell me who you are or how you feel about me or why you're doing this?"_

_More silence._

"_Aren't you going to answer?"_

_More silence._

"_Okay then. How about we come up with nicknames for each other?"_

"_I already know your name Sakura."_

"_True. But I don't know yours, and it feels weird asking you questions and trying to address you when I don't know your name." He nods his head in agreement._

"_What do you have in mind?"_

"_Lost." He chuckles._

"_Okay."_

…

…

…

…

_It wasn't like he imagined. It wasn't slow and calm, innocent nothing like that, it was amazing. Kissing her was the best thing he could ever experience. He could finally let all of his feelings for her out._

_In that one kiss…_

_It was pure heaven._

_His lips and her lips, massaging each other._

_Her arms around his neck._

_His arms tightened around her waist like they were hanging on for their lives._

_They are alone,_

_No one around._

_They are together._

'_Oh god.'_

_She gently nibbles on his lower lip, asking for entrance. He immediately obliges. _

_His lips part and they continue to share the fire they have for each other. _

_She slowly pulls away, he doesn't like that._

_Their eyes are still closed and they're still so close to each other._

_She whispers._

"_Do you regret it?" He opens his eyes._

"_Regret what?" She giggles._

"_Losing?" He answers her question by slamming his lips back onto hers and immediately showing her,_

_He would lose for the rest of his life, if it meant having her._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

-Nodge-

Nothing.

-Nodge-

Nothing

"Shikamaru!" He jumps awake.

"What?" He looks up at the intruder, it's her.

"Class is over." She stands and rubs her eyes.

"Fall asleep too?" She nods.

"I guess your bad habits are wearing off on me Shikamaru." Sakura grabs her books and shoves them into her backpack. Shikamaru does the same. She asks.

"Have a good dream Shikamaru?" She starts walking towards the door, he follows suit.

"You have no idea."

…

…

…

…

Push here and a push there. Walking through the high school halls isn't a great way to wake up after an excellent nap.

"What about you Sakura?" She turns her head around.

"What do you mean Shikamaru?" He chuckles.

'Wait,'

"So troublesome. What about your dream? Did you have a good dream?"

"I suppose. I mean it was rather confusing."

"What was it about?"

"Me trying to figure out who someone is." He chuckles again.

'Why is that so familiar?'

"Figure out what about who?"

"Trying to figure out about who this guy is. He wants me to figure him out. I really want to."

"How come?"

"I want to figure out who he is because, I think he's interested in me." Shikamaru didn't like this.

"Ah. Well, let me know how that one goes." Shikamaru leaves. Sakura yells.

"Shikamaru!" He turns around.

"Yeah?"

She doesn't know why she called for him. She has no idea to be honest.

"Nevermind. I forgot." He chuckles.

"See ya Sakura." And he leaves.

'His laugh is so familiar.'

…

…

…

…

'It's just like his laugh. The guy in my dream.'

…

…

…

…

* * *

**Rewritten(4/09/09)**

**Dedicated to: animelove0713**

**Why: She really wanted one.**

**~Renaissance**


	8. Even You Have Someone Special Shikamaru

**I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love

* * *

**  
_"You got me deeper than deep and I'm constantly blinded  
I'm running around but there's no place to hide  
I start to talk in my sleep, our souls have divided  
Why can't they forgive me these demons inside  
Deeper than deep and I'm constantly blinded  
My heart starts to shiver for I was letting up  
I start to talk in my sleep, cause our souls have divided  
How can it be that you're ready for love"- Cascada, "Ready For Love"_

...

...

...

...

Sometimes school can be very boring you know? And sometimes it can surprise you, when you least expect it.

Walking down the hallways on a Monday morning you can often find Shikamaru by his locker, grabbing his daily Advil.

Today he wasn't there.

Instead he was looking at a flamboyant piece of paper taped to the wall. Big bold black letters that screamed

**"BIG SPRING FORMAL! COME EVERYONE! ENJOY GREAT MUSIC AND FOOD! HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME! AND DON'T FORGET TO BRING THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE!"**

Yeah, there was more written but it was irrelevant.

"So Shikamaru, you going to the dance?"

"Not sure. Sounds like a drag."

**(It would be a drag,)**

"What makes you say that?"

**(Because he knew,)**

"It's a stupid formal dance Sakura. With lame music and school food. Why would I take the time out of my day to go to that?"

**(If he went to the dance,)**

And she quoted,

"To go with that special someone?" She made it into a question when it sounded more like a concrete fact.

He looked over at her, her beautiful

smooth,

perfect

soft face.

"That perfect someone Sakura?"

"Yeah Shikamaru. Even you have to have a special someone."

**RING**

"Well, see ya in class. Bye Shikamaru." She waved farewell.

**(He would only,)**

He looked back at the flamboyant paper and chuckled.

"Even I have a special someone."

**(Go for her.)**

…

…

…

...

* * *

**EVEN**

Y

O

U

**HAVE**

S

O

M

E

O

N

E

**SPECIAL**

S

H

I

K

A

M

R

U

* * *

…

…

…

...

Sitting in first period, doing his daily routine off taking his homework out, taking a pen for corrections (even though there is never any) then laying his head on the desk to sleep.

Yep, that's Shikamaru's morning.

Maybe he needs a change.

Change his morning routine.

Or even his life.

He Shikamaru knows

**(He wants to change it,)**

if he were to change it,

**(He can't say he doesn't want to change it,)**

he would start with,

**(He wants to change it.)**

_that special someone._

**(Change his life with Sakura, his special someone.)**

...

…

…

...

"Thanks for giving me a ride Shikamaru. I really appreciate it."

"No problem Sakura." He smiles.

"Hey, have you heard anything from Chouji lately? I haven't seen him around at school." He shrugs.

"Not sure. The last time I talked to him I think was when we were talking about Ino and he's ridiculous infatuation with her." Sakura playfully slapped his arm.

"Hey! What the hell Sakura? Don't attack the driver. I could very well pull over and kick you to the side of the street."

**(He would never leave her.)**

"You shouldn't doubt Chouji."

"You're misunderstanding me Sakura. I'm simply implying that Chouji most likely won't end up with Ino because, it's Ino of god's sake. The queen of selfish images." She giggles.

"True."

…

…

…

…

After arriving at Sakura's home, Shikamaru decided to stay for a while.

Do homework,

play video games,

dream about his _addiction_,

you know,

the usual.

Things were going quite well. His arms behind his head leaning back on her couch with eyes closed Shikamaru seemed at peace, but god, did they have to take such a sudden turn.

"Hey Shikamaru?"

**(God, No!)**

"Yeah?"

**(Please no!)**

"Remember a while back that one day you were really off?"

'Ah, the day my _addiction_ started.'

**(Please no!)**

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well you never answered my question."

**(Fuck, god please no!)**

"What question Sakura? You ask a lot."

"Do not!"

"Do."

"I do not!"

"Do."

"Oh forget it. Anyways, I asked you what you,-"

**(God no please!)**

",-wanted so badly."

Shikamaru's eyes shot open. His body froze.

"W-w-what about it?"

**(GOD NO! PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THAT!)**

"Well, aren't you going to answer my question."

'Fuck, think Shikamaru! Think for god's sake!'

"Um, I-I-, um."

"Shikamaru it's not that hard to answer."

'You have no idea.'

Should he tell her?

**(Tell her his undeniable feelings,)**

Should he_ confess_?

**(Tell her how he dreams of her,)**

But, he could lose her.

**(Wants her,)**

That's why he stopped last time.

(Needs her,)

He didn't want to lose her.

**(Loves her.)**

"I um,"

'Just do it!'

"I wanted, um."

"Shikamaru, you can't exactly want an 'um'. I'm not sure that's even an object." He mutters,

"Smart ass."

"Just say it Shikamaru."

"I just want..."

He turns to look at her,

her emerald eyes,

deep,

clear,

concerned,

and full of...

"My special someone."

_love_? She stares in awe.

"Your special someone? I knew it! You do have a special someone! Do I know her? Or him?"

"Haha, very funny Sakura. **HER**, and yeah you do."

"Who is she?"

"Who is she?"

"Yes Shikamaru, who is she?"

**BUZZ**

Sakura looks down, her phone is vibrating in her pocket.

**BUZZ**

She reaches to retrieve her phone and sees a new text message, it states itself as "**URGENT**".

She excuses herself to make a call.

He whispers.

"She's you." He chuckles.

…

…

…

…

She returns to Shikamaru.

"Sorry about that. Had to check up on something."

"Not a problem."

"So who is she?" He chuckles. She smiles.

"I already said it."

"What?! No you didn't!"

"Yes I did. You just weren't here when I said it." She crosses her arms and pouts.

"Cheater." He chuckles.

"Well I better go Sakura." He stands and walks to the door, she follows.

"See ya Shikamaru." She hugs him.

"Sakura."

"Yeah?"

"You know you're important to me right?"

"Of course. We're best friends." He smiles.

"Good. Remember you're special to me okay?"

"I will. And you're special to me Shikamaru." She pulls away.

"Best friends."

He leaves.

'How does she not know? God, I guess it's true.'

**LOVE IS BLIND.**

...

...

...

...

* * *

**Written:(04-13-09)**

**~Renaissance  
**


	9. His Mind Knows What His Heart Refuses

**I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love

* * *

**

"_Runnin through the monsoon  
beyond the world  
to the end of time  
where the rain won't hurt  
fighting the storm  
into the blue  
and when I lose myself  
I'll think of you  
together we'll be running somewhere new  
through the monsoon  
just me and you" _

_-Tokio Hotel "Monsoon"_

_..._

_..._

_..._

_...  
_

Ever notice how in almost every school there are the select few people who are attractive to everyone? The girls who look good in everything they wear, the boys who are so cool they attract even their teachers? Never heard of that last one? Well trust me, it happens. In this school there's Sasuke Uchiha and Neji Hyuuga.

...

...

...

...

"_Hey Shikamaru?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_What do you think of Neji?"_

"_Huh?!"_

_..._

_..._

_..._

_...

* * *

_

H

I

S

MIND

K

N

O

W

S

WHAT

H

I

S

HEART

R

E

F

U

S

E

S

* * *

...

...

...

...

**MONDAY**

"Hey Sakura!" Sakura turns around.

"Hey Chouji. Where have you been?!"

"Oh just around. Just hanging out. So how are you?" They continue their conversation while walking to Sakura's locker. No Sasuke, no fangirls screaming.

"Fine thanks. Just trying to focus on my studies." Chouji laughs.

"What's so funny?!" Sakura doesn't like to be laughed at.

"You are like a genius Sakura. Why would you need to study?"

"There's always something I can improve in."

Walking down the hall towards Sakura and Chouji is the very tired Shikamaru. Math is kind of a boring subject for Shikamaru so no one really expects him to stay awake. Not only that, but the dream addiction isn't helping matters either.

"Hey Shikamaru. Where the hell were you? Sleeping in class like you normally do?" With his eyes closed, Shikamaru yawns and stretches his arms above his head.

"Chouji, he was in math. Kind of a boring subject for Shikamaru you know?" Sakura opens her locker and retrieves her world history, language arts, and advanced biology books and shoves them into her backpack. Shikamaru puts his arms down and walks next to Sakura and opens his locker.

"She knows you far too well Shikamaru. It's kinda scary." Shikamaru shrugs and continues to dial his locker combination. After successfully getting his combination the first time, Shikamaru throws his book into the locker and just stands there and stares.

Sakura nudges Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru?" He looks at her.

"You okay?" He nods.

"Tired?" He nods again.

"Want me to drive home?" He nods, _again _,and looks back at his locker.

Sakura closes her locker and slowly closes Shikamaru's. She whispers.

"Shikamaru?" He looks at her.

"Let's go," She smiles. "Okay?" He nods.

...

...

...

...

"_Sakura why are you asking me this?"_

"_Do you like him? You know, this he's a good guy?"_

"_Sakura..." He groans out. "Why are you asking me this?"_

"_Well..."_

_..._

_..._

_..._

_...  
_

Sakura grabs Shikamaru's left hand gently and leads him out of the school, into the parking lot with Chouji following behind them. As they reach Shikamaru's car-

"Sakura." Sakura turns around and smiles at the voice, while Shikamaru groans in annoyance.

"Hello Neji." Neji casually walks up to Sakura, Shikamaru and Chouji, cars keys in his hand.

"How are you?" She smiles.

"Fine. Is there anything I can help you with?" Shikamaru rolls his eyes.

'Yeah, is there something we can help you with Neji? Like oh, um, I don't know. Fuck off!'

Chouji turns and looks at Shikamaru, who is looking at the ground, and feels waves coming off him. Chouji must admit, he's a little frightened. But then again,

'Why would Shikamaru be giving off waves like that?' He ponders for a little on his own.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you something." She nods for him to continue.

"Are you planning on going to the Spring Formal?" Neji shoves his hands in his pockets while looking Sakura straight in her emerald eyes.

Sakura blushes a tad.

Shikamaru on the other hand...

Chouji sneaks a peak, his eyes are almost bulging out while his hands are on top of the hood gripping it so hard his knuckles are pure white and his mouth is formed in a snarl making his teeth look his he's about to growl, and immediately looks away.

"Well, um, I'm not sure. I haven't decided yet." She's fiddling with the strap of her backpack looking at the ground.

Neji nods.

"But you don't have a date yet?" Sakura looks up.

"No, not yet." She smiles. Shikamaru is pissed!

'Sakura, I know you're adorable and all, but stop fucking smiling at him!'

Neji nods again and his faces slightly relaxes.

"Good. Well, I'll see you on tomorrow Sakura." She smiles. He nods towards Chouji, "Chouji." Chouji nods back. He looks towards Shikamaru. "Shik-" Shikamaru looks up and god,

does Neji

get

the

worst

glare

ever. Not even Sasuke Uchiha can top that one.

"Bye." Neji calmly leaves.

Chouji turns back to Sakura and Shikamaru. Sakura still watching Neji leave, don't think she saw Shikamaru's glare, and Shikamaru's UN-relaxed posture. He waves goodbye to them. They don't notice. Sakura turns her attention back to Shikamaru.

"So Shikama-" Sakura notices Shikamaru's posture. It's not exactly Shikamaru like.

"Shika-" Shikamaru stands up straight, takes the keys from Sakura, walks back over to the passenger's side of the car and opens the door.

"Well?" Sakura doesn't know what to say.

"Uh..." Shikamaru's voice is cold, straight and slick.

"Do you want a ride or not?"

"I thought you wanted me to drive?"

"Just get in Sakura." Deciding she didn't want to make him anymore upset, she moves graciously to her seat and buckles herself in. Shikamaru closes her door and moves to his side of the car and does the same. The car starts, and he drives.

...

...

...

...

"Shikamaru, what's wrong?"

He doesn't answer.

"Shikamaru please."

No answer. She yells.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHIKAMARU! TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG!" Shikamaru pulls into his drive way.

"Nothing Sakura." He moves to open his door to leave. She doesn't let him.

"Shikamaru please!"

He's quiet. She waits.

And waits.

And waits.

Ten minutes of silence.

"Are you going to go to the formal with Hyuuga?" Sakura is taken aback by the sudden conversation.

"Is that what's bothering you?" He shrugs.

"To be honest Shikamaru, if he asks before anyone else, I might say yes." Shikamaru's voice becomes colder.

"Do you like him?" She whispers.

"I don't know."

They sit in silence.

...

...

...

...

Sakura's phone vibrates, she opens. It's a text message.

She replies, shuts her phone closed and looks down. She whispers.

"Shikamaru?" He responds in a soft voice.

"Yeah?"

"I'm uh..."

He looks over to her.

"You're what?"

"Neji asked me to go to the formal with him."

"And?" Shikamaru's ears perk up, his muscles tense, his heart praying she said no, but his mind knows she said-

"I said yes."

**After all, Shikamaru isn't a genius for nothing.**

...

...

...

...

**

* * *

**

**~Written:(04-21-09)**

**~Renaissance**


	10. Time Out

**I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love

* * *

**

"_Another day is going by  
I'm thinking about you all the time  
But you're out there  
And I'm here waiting_

_And I wrote this letter in my head  
Cuz so many things were left unsaid  
But now you're gone  
And I can't think straight_

_This could be the one last chance  
To make you understand_

_I'd do anything  
Just to hold you in my arms  
To try to make you laugh  
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past  
I'd do anything  
Just to fall asleep with you  
Will you remember me?  
Cuz I know  
I won't forget you,"_

_-Simple Plan "I'd Do Anything"_

…

…

…

…

'She's w-w-w-what?! No, no, NONONONNONONONON! She can't be going with...him!"

Shikamaru sat there, speechless...he couldn't say anything, ANYTHING!

…

…

Nope, still nothing. Sakura stands and waits. She watches him. His eyes focused on the ground, hands on the cushions, legs still bent at the knees to sit. He wouldn't say anything. Nothing at all. Sakura was becoming a little concerned. I mean, Shikamaru was just...sitting there. Not saying anything. No "What a drag," or "Troublesome," or "You could do better,". NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL!

She whispers, "Shikamaru?" He doesn't respond. She tries again. "Shikamaru?" Still nothing.

Shikamaru couldn't speak. Nothing. He couldn't do anything. I mean, he just found out that Sakura, SAKURA, was going to the Spring Formal with Hyuuga. Neji HYUUGA!

"Shikamaru?" Sakura moves in front of him and kneels down. She's a little shorter then eye-to-eye level with him.

"Shikamaru, are you okay?" He still hasn't said anything. Sakura's left hand slowly moves up to his leg, and very, VERY gently, touches his knee. She whispers, again.

"Shikamaru?" Shikamaru swiftly stands up and steps to the side. Not once looking at Sakura.

"Sakura um, I have somethings I need to do. We can hang another time." He still doesn't look at her. Sakura's hand returns to her lap and her eyes desperately searching for his. But they never connect.

"Like what?"

"Homework, cleaning, errands. I just forgot." Shikamaru's eyes still focused on the floor, Sakura's body began to rise.

'Sakura, please. You need...you need to go. Please!' Shikamaru needed peace, he needed to be ALONE!!!!NOW!!! Sakura just stands there, in front of the couch a few feet away from him then she nods.

"Okay." She grabs her bag and heads to the door.

She reaches for the doorknob, turns it and the door is wide open. Before she leaves she looks over he shoulder, back at Shikamaru.

"I'll see you later." She leaves. Shikamaru stands. He can't move.

He

just

stands.

And stands there...for a very long time.

...

...

...

...

* * *

T

I

M

E

OUT

* * *

…

…

…

…

"_You know Shikamaru, you'll never know what you have till you've lost it."_

_Sixteen year old Shikamaru laughs at the pinkette._

"_Trust me Sakura. I know exactly what I have."_

"_Is there anything that's very special to you?"_

_Shikamaru ponders._

"_Yeah. My friends, parents." Shikamaru looks over at Sakura. "What about you?" _

_She giggles. Shikamaru shrugs and returns his gaze to the clouds._

_Sakura whispers away from him._

"_One friend."_

…

…

…

…

_Her meadow is still as beautiful as it was last time. The flowers around the tree trunks are now...brown? She looks up, the trees are still beautifully green. Good. Sakura walks into her meadow and spins._

_Around._

_Around._

_And around she goes. She just keeps spinning._

_Then it happens. The boy, he's back._

"_Sakura." She doesn't turn now. She knows no matter how hard she tries to see his face, she won't. _

"_Lost." She can hear his footsteps walking towards her. She keeps her back to him, just like he needs. _

"_Shall we continue?" She nods._

"_But, can I ask you some questions yet?" Even though she can't see him, she can hear him shake his head._

"_Not yet Sakura."_

"_Okay. So what are we at?" He answers quickly, but calm._

"_About thirteen I think." She nods her head again but she can't think of anything to ask. So she doesn't._

"_Is something wrong?"_

"_No. Can we just talk. No games?" _

"_If that's what you want." She nods. They both sit on the grass back to back, leaning against each other. He starts._

"_So, how's life?" She chuckles._

"_What?"_

_"Nothing, I just thought that was funny. But, my life is okay. I'm a straight A student, one of the top in my class. I'm going to this dance on Friday. Everything is normal." He nods his head._

"_Who are you going with to the dance?" Her voice was quiet, and a little...sad?_

"_A boy named Neji. Neji Hyuuga. He's one of the smartest kids in my class."_

"_Whose the smartest?" Sakura smiles._

"_His name is Shikamaru Nara."_

"_What's he like?"_

"_He's ridiculously smart, lazy, sarcastic, a smart-ass...but he's very sweet, nice, caring. He's my best friend." _

"_Whose he going to the dance with?"_

"_He hasn't asked anyone. I don't think he's going." Lost nods._

"_Well, at least you get to go. Sounds like a lot of fun, and it must be nice to go with someone who you have something in common with. At least the night won't be boring." She nods._

"_It's true." She leans her head to the side of his shoulder and whispers._

"_But he isn't the one I wanted to go with."_

…

…

…

…

"_Shikamaru, you're my best friend."_

"_Good. Because you're mine." _

_Sakura smiles._

…

…

…

…

Sakura woke from her dream in a panic. What...was...that? Did she just say what she thought she said? Wait, she didn't say anything. But she did, atleast her subconsious did. But that meant she did say something, but that couldn't be really what SHE was saying...right?

Sakura was confused to say the least. She did want to go with Neji to the dance. I mean what was not to like? He was smart, kind, classy, considerate of girl's feelings, a true gentleman. Shikamaru was lazy, irratating, always complaining about something, too brilliant for his own good...but he was Shikamaru. Her best friend. There was no way she could feel something for him. That was against the rules. Best friends don't have feelings for each other. That's why they are BEST FRIENDS! They get along with each other, laugh, hang, relax, talk, and cry with each other. Best friends were people you could count on for anything. Best friends aren't lovers. They don't kiss, cuddle, sleep or share intimate moments with each other. That's what your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife are. Not your best friend.

Not your best friend.

Not your best friend.

Not your best friend.

'NOT MY BEST FRIEND!'

But wasn't a lover someone you could talk, confide, talk, laugh, giggle, relax, cry and get along with? Yes, that's what a lover is. Someone you trust with everything.

Sakura sat in bed, gripping the sheets in her hands tightly, as she began to see a lover and best friend are basically the same thing...

...

...

...

...

_"Shikamaru?"_

_"What's the difference between a best friend and a love?"_

_Shikamaru sat with wide shock filled eyes. After a few minutes he spoke._

_"Honestly Sakura, I don't know."_

_Sakura smiled._

_"So does that mean we're in love?"_

_Shikamaru didn't answer. After all, how does an eight year old answer that kind of question?_

_..._

_..._

_..._

_...  
_

* * *

**Written:(04-28-09)**

**Rewritten:(05-12-09)**

**Edited:(05-12-09)  
**

**~Renaissance**


End file.
